Zero Point Cosmography

Do you have the tendency to help others, but neglect to help yourself?

Can you spout off plenty of health advice but don’t take the time to exercise and eat responsibly?

Lot’s of people do this. I’ve known a lot of over-weight nurses. I’ve seen mothers and fathers take care of their children and spouse, but not themselves.
I’ve seen people out to save the world, but forget to include themselves in the picture.

What inspires this post, you may ask? Well, I’ve had the latter pattern myself and am coming to unravel it. I have neglected my finances and aspects of my health and life at times because I’m on a mission to help the world.

Well, it’s a great and noble cause.. but let’s not forget that I have to take care of my own needs as well. Do not confuse this with selfishness. Selflessness does not occur simply by putting yourself out. It is not simply a matter of helping other people over yourself. Selflessness is a quality of action with concern for the other and the complete surrender of your own will with regards to the other individual’s wants and needs. Notice that this definition says nothing about not taking care of yourself and focusing solely on everyone else.  Also, I want to clarify that by the surrender of your own will in the situation, I don’t mean that to be taken as you should blindly do whatever hare-brained thing the other person wants you to do or to get yourself into something that you yourself are morally oposed to. 

No, it is not a selfish thing to take care of yourself, and for that matter to take care of yourself first.  It is your responsibility.

Anyhow, this post is further inspired by a good friend of my family that has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She has consistently struck me as a person who does not take care of herself. Her house was always filthy. Not dirty, but filthy. Her dietary habits were high in sugar and she has a weight problem and a breathing problem partially due to the former house conditions. She has since moved and has a clean house, but I have noticed that the breathing problems persist. I am not sure if this is a matter of asthma or a somatic pattern that she developed or is entirely unrelated to the former house.

She has taken some issues with work and has developed a pretty toxic attitude which she emotionally stuffs. I am reasonably sure that this habit is directly correlated with the rise of her breast cancer. I have seen this before.

She is a nice woman. Don’t get me wrong. On ALL of the occasions that I have been around her for many years, I have always enjoyed her company.

She also does a good job of taking care of her family and does a good job at work taking care of her job and people there.

She does not do a good job taking care of herself.

This is one of those goofy patterns that people create in their lives, (myself included) that makes no sense when you look at it from a distance.

Taking care of yourself is a good thing. You are the only individual who is truly suited for the job.

In terms of helping other people, by taking care of yourself, you set an example for others and people learn best by example.

By taking care of yourself first, you then come to appreciate what other people need and do not need in terms of your assistance, and so can do a better job helping them.

By taking care of yourself, you remove the burden of responsibility from others, thereby alleviating the time and energy they would otherwise have to invest in taking care of you.

This applies on so many levels.

How many people do you know that now or once had to take care of a parent or grandparent or brother who had a stroke or heart attack or cancer or some other malady that could have been prevented if they had just taken care of their health?

Have you ever seen someone who donates a lot of their time and money to helping others but their personal finances are a mess, and they have to borrow money and time from other people to clean it up?

If you take care of yourself first, then you free up your time and energy to 1. Do the things that you want to do with your life, and 2. By having that time and energy and stable financial situation, can do a much for effective and thoughtful job at helping others.

** I am sure that such patterns are not just simply that the person doing them is a dolt necessarily. I’m sure there are a multitude of reasons.